Thank you all so much. The kind words about Sophie meant a lot. I’ve been typing on these here interwebs for a long time and sometimes it just feels like I’m talking to myself. It helped so much to know that others cared about her too.
I miss my sweet, funny, bouncy, healthy Sophie. I don’t miss the version of her I lived with for the last year. You know how you don’t always realize you’re in hell, because you’re just responding to the situation day by day, and doing your best and trying to fix it, and then when it’s over you look back and wonder how the hell you did that for so long? I am there. I was so focused on getting through the days and finding a way to make her better, I never stepped back to think about how utterly awful life was.
I realized this when I woke up on Tuesday after sleeping a solid 8 hours, because there were no middle of the night noises or horrible stenches at 2 am. We are all sleeping in. Gidget and Ellie are sleeping on the bed together. Sleeping on the bed with me is possibly Gidget’s favorite thing ever.
It feels so strange – THIS is how normal people live! I’d actually forgotten.