I started writing this post the other day but the post just never would gel. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t put my thoughts together, and I realized it’s because I literally could not see an ending for this crap.
And today there was an announcement at the place where I work: the return to the office has been postponed until June at the earliest, and September for the bulk of the work force. I’m “the bulk of the workforce” because I can do my job just fine from home if I have to, so, yeah.
We were sent home from the office in mid-March, and all of us figured it’d be weeks, a month or two at the outside, and now, 18-ish months?
The sheer endlessness of this COVID clusterfuck is getting to a lot of us – at least to those of us who are still paying attention. I’ve gained weight, I’m crabby, I’m having trouble concentrating, I’m online “comfort shopping” too much. And you know what? I realized today that I don’t give a fuck, because I need to do what I can do to stay sane through this.
Actually I very much do give a fuck about the weight gain, because my clothes have to fit. Hot weather is looming, and I can’t afford to replace the shorts that now won’t button. I need to get control over my diet and exercise, for a multitude of healthy reasons. And also because I’m on a mission to fit into all of my shorts and tanks, because they’re all perfectly good and weren’t cheap and it’s going to be 90-fucking-degrees in a few weeks.
But the rest of it? If trying new skin care products and buying yarn and pretty stationery and growing succulents helps me not stab anybody, I refuse to feel guilty.
I need a game plan, or I’m going to outgrow my entire wardrobe and forget how to communicate with words. I’m afraid that by June I’ll speak only in technobabble, acronym and spreadsheet. Oh, and dog baby talk, because my dogs are the cutest little babies ever and deserve ALL the treaty-treats, don’t they? Yeah, I’m a bit starved for fun, non-work conversation.
Blogging about it really does help, and I will do it more often. I appreciate the feedback for my intermittent posts.
As I’ve said, I’m not really “quarantining” like the cool bread baking and indulging in creativity people, I’m more like “imprisoned” in a home office doing a job I fervently wish I could afford to quit, but alas, retirement is still a few years away for me.
So I’m going to put together a game plan to get me through 2021, because this shit ain’t anywhere near over.